Daze Dreams (part I)

The door opens to reveal that open pasture i see so often..the dream fades away to black and white agaiin. Im looking for my mom in the park. She just seemed to vanish into thin air, no trace, no explaination. "Its not like her, its not like her, its not like her" i repeat over and over again until i wake up the next morning. I slowly fade into the ability to function. Slide the contacts int omy eyes, turn the music up to a volume i can cope with in the morning, run to the bathroom to let loose the demons ive been holding back since i fell asleep. Its a saturday which means i should sleep in. I felt more awake than normal this time of morning. I open the screen door to be hit with that gentle smell a fresh spring morning seems to bring. The 13 steps across pavement still cold from the night to the grass, just wetting from the dewdrops. the faded maroon shed doors open and i take out my bike. Technically my fathers, i ride it more than him, i call it mine. To Be Continued...at a time when my eyeballs dont feel like bleeding..gnight

Jotting Down Little Notes In The Corner

I lie awake in bed waiting for a quieter time. That infamous 1 o'clock perfect silence. The fan twirls around blocking our everything but my own thoughts. The sadness is the only thought going through my mind is her. A girl i want, a girl i beg and plead to have. That one girl i can never seem to get. Its 1:30 am and i realize i should get some sleep. I turn on my laptop to check my email every night like the monotone robot i become. Thats always the biggest mistake mistake. I get caught up reading www.pleasewastemoreofyourlifehere.com I peruse for hours, ok an hour an see 2:30 hit those red dials. Ill be waking up at 6 for school, i need sleep. 2:30, laptops shutdown, iPods charging, phones charging, my electric bill is charging. I reach that boundary where my minds still moving. 3:00. Inspiration hits, light gets flicked on, pen and paper and boom a new song or two, or often times 5 pages of jumbled words i call lyrics that i never get back to and get added to a pile. 3:45 my head hits the pillow. Out by 4:30. 6:00, one and half hours of sleep. My mind wakes up alert enough to roll out of bed and suffer through another endless day of school. You think id learn, go to bed earlier, school will suck less. Every night around midnight i think this. by 2:00 all those thoughts are gone. (copy and repeat) thats my life.

I usually get like 4-6 hours of sleep a schoolnight.

I'm tired in the morning.

I'm going to sleep soon after i post this.
I'm in an extremly confused state of mind.

HAVE A GOOD ONE!

"Lost In Your Eyes..."

I'd like to thank Tyler C. Wade for giving this to me. He's a good buddy of mine with unreal lyrical writing skill. This is NOT his first song ever, but definatly one of his best. Ill try to get an audio clip at some point, maybe, depends on his mood. Anyways here it is.. his latest song "Lost In Your Eyes"

Verse 1:/

Is it wrong or is it right/

But I miss bad tonight/

So just tell me it’s alright/

With your eyes they are so bright/

Light up my world when it goes black/

So please baby don’t go back/

Cause I need you here today/

And I need to hear you say/

That it’s gonna be okay/

So just tell me you will stay/

PRE-Chorus:/
I’m sorry I’m not there/
But I hope you know I care/
I wish things were the way they were back then/

Chorus:/
Cause I’d do anything to hold you in my arms again tonight/
Cause nothing here feels right/
And there’s a whole were my heart should be/
So I need you here with me/
So that I can get lost in your eyes/
You take me flying high/
Make me feel things I can’t describe/
And you make me feel alive/

Its Dark outside

We sit in the campfire with no one around us,
Just the two of us and the bright burning fire.
We gaze into the others eyes and think the same thing,
If you shutoff the lights its dark outside.

I'm not sure what this actually is. I just kinda thought of that expression, "its dark outside" and thought of hanging out in front of fires with buddies. I then transalted it to a girl because of the fact im sixteen and the majority of my songs end up being about a girl/ husband & wife/people in love.

So just remember that when the lights go off, theres always someone there to shine.

Have A Great Day!

Hide My Feelings And Throw Away The Key

    Multitudes of us our lonely at heart. We say that were fine and act all happy and joyous. In reality we bottle up our emotions and take our true feelings and put them in an imaginary safe. We lock them up because we don't want them to escape and affect peoples judgements upon us. It is because of this I get to my topic tonight/tomorning (my newest made up word) which is judging and sterotyping. I wear skinny jeans, say words like "mad" and "hardcore". Am I scene? I shop at Hollister, American Eagle, and Abercrombie & Fitch. Well clearly I'm a prep who only wears polos and ripped jeans. I shop at Salvation Army and other thrift stores. I'm a poor unfortunate soul who lacks fashion sense because I don't know where to shop. People will judge you and sterotype based on every part of you, whether it be your clothes, the music you listen to, and even your goals. Its this unfair and bias judgement that makes so many Teen, Young Adults, even those gettin on in age to base how they act, what they wear all on what other people are going to think of them. This is absolute TRASH. I wear skinny jean, maybe I like the security and how they look on me. I shopped at Hollister, oh em gee, maybe i like how their clothes fit and the feel of them. I mean have you ever felt a hollister polo bought brand new, its Amazing. Oh, and lets not forget my Salvation Army clothes, maybe I just want a simpler lifestyle, I make my own fashion out of worn clothes. 

    We have to look at the ridiculousness of stereotyping people. I'm not saying I don't do it, its become a human inclination to group a person, ever hear of discrimination...bingo. So what I'm trying to say is this; don't judge people on what they look like. Get to truly know a person and how they truly are. Let them show and express all these emotions they've locked away. Ask for the key to their lock and help them open up. Thanx for listening if you actually read the whole thing, this subjects just always bothered me. 

In other news i bought a light grey DC beanie at tjmaxx because it was $7.99 and snowboarding season is coming up.

Have A Good One!

Darkened EnClosure of Realms of Thought

As we sit and reconsider our paths we show our mistaken identites. Are we really who we say we are? Do our actions really say more about us than our lips ever could? Or are we hiding our scarred emotions from physical torment, in order to slow our own decay? We create scapegoats for our own downfalls. So we must remember that we NEED to take responsibilities for what we do, whether for good or for bad! Just some stuff to mull over. Leave me some comments about our own thoughts. They can be misguided conceptions or general fun facts, but my comments are lonely and are pledging to start WW III so please comment and make them happy.


Its been a long few weeks.


Have A Good One!