Sometimes I go to write and the words just don't make sense. Sentences end up all jumbled and confusing. Its not so much writers block as a lack of thoughts. Material to write a significant amount about is so abundant until I actually start writing, then I just get stupid and write random words to make sense. The worst is essays. O goodness me essays never come out to be written well. I'm a decent writer in my opinion. I can formulate words to make them sound deep and thoughtful. But this is just my stupid little explanation why my writing often suffers. I get bored with it. Can't focus and just lose my mind.
Have a Good One!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
ekaF
Shes so fake. All those stupid flirty days. I feel for it and don't know why I couldn't just control my own dam emotions. I slipped over and over again right into her. Never even knew her long enough to get her name. The way she controlled my every action and movement for those few days left me confused yet excited. She told me it would never work out. The age difference, past things that entangled us both in a way that would always leave us connected but never close enough to be "together" and to grow as people. We left that night. Her to a house full of her girlfriends and forget about me forever and continue her life of Fake and cruelty to another guy. Me, I left to an empty apartment. a broken soul. and a quiet night of thoughts and confusion. I got played.
Have a Good One!
Have a Good One!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Imagine If It Did End...
This is just a little story from my Mr. Matt *Super* Yao as he is called in the biz.
With the fire fight finally over, but our ears still ringing, we dragged the bodies from the kitchen floor that could no longer be seen beneath the spent 5.56, 9mm and 7.62 casings drenched in blood rolling below the body of our sergeant.
They call this victory, but we drag our fallen brothers to be sent home to their familes. ”He died for his country and fought for what he believed”; that's what they're going to tell his family. But we didn't even know what the hell we were fighting for anymore. We came here to make a difference, but the long term goes out the window here. Now, I think we just fight to stay alive, to protect the man you stand next to and any innocent person you can, and most importantly to kill the enemy before he kills you, accomplish the mission and get the hell out. Despite us not understanding why we were there for so long, we still fought like the Soldiers we were created to be back at Boot Camp in the States.
Holding the hand of your dead Commanding Officer made you wonder if we were even getting out of here alive. Just this week 5 men I was recruited and trained with were dead after their Humvee was hit by an IED. And now Staff Sergeant Teller; an Al Queda sharpshooter put a round between his eyes. It's hard to find aim like that in this country. What makes it even worse; is the children in the house panicked and made a break for the back exit, where an IED had been fixed in the step below the door. The trap was set for us, and maybe we would've found it, but the children didn't think twice. Why the hell are we here? It keeps going through my mind. What happened to “mission accomplished” 6 years ago?
All Right Reserved - Matthew Yao
Check out more of his stuff at http://mattyao.blogspot.com/
Have a Good One
With the fire fight finally over, but our ears still ringing, we dragged the bodies from the kitchen floor that could no longer be seen beneath the spent 5.56, 9mm and 7.62 casings drenched in blood rolling below the body of our sergeant.
They call this victory, but we drag our fallen brothers to be sent home to their familes. ”He died for his country and fought for what he believed”; that's what they're going to tell his family. But we didn't even know what the hell we were fighting for anymore. We came here to make a difference, but the long term goes out the window here. Now, I think we just fight to stay alive, to protect the man you stand next to and any innocent person you can, and most importantly to kill the enemy before he kills you, accomplish the mission and get the hell out. Despite us not understanding why we were there for so long, we still fought like the Soldiers we were created to be back at Boot Camp in the States.
Holding the hand of your dead Commanding Officer made you wonder if we were even getting out of here alive. Just this week 5 men I was recruited and trained with were dead after their Humvee was hit by an IED. And now Staff Sergeant Teller; an Al Queda sharpshooter put a round between his eyes. It's hard to find aim like that in this country. What makes it even worse; is the children in the house panicked and made a break for the back exit, where an IED had been fixed in the step below the door. The trap was set for us, and maybe we would've found it, but the children didn't think twice. Why the hell are we here? It keeps going through my mind. What happened to “mission accomplished” 6 years ago?
All Right Reserved - Matthew Yao
Check out more of his stuff at http://mattyao.blogspot.com/
Have a Good One
Cats vs My Friends vs Stationary Objects
So today I'm running to my kitchen to get some milk during a commercial. My cat was in the way so i though "no problem ill just jump over it". Great though until she saw me and run directly to where my feet were about to hit the ground.Thankfully i somehow pushed off the wall, and while getting my ribs destroyed by a kitchen chair I managed to not kill my little Jade. Shes all black a lil white on her neck and has green eyes just in case you were curious. So after getting my milk and recovering from my injuries I started to think about how different humans are compared to my cat.
Ok here is another completely different story ended basically the same way. I was at a party running again to grab a drink again. Ok maybe this story is sort of similar to the other one. My friend (his name is Kyle) was sitting on the ground eating dinner with some other kids. He was in my way and i yelled "lookout" as i leaped over him (why I'm galloping around and refuse to find easier methods of travel is beyond me). BUT unlike Jade, Kyle did not run to where i was about to land. Instead he ducked, threw his hands over his head and I'm pretty sure let out a little girly shriek (I cant say i blame him) But his initial reaction was smart. It was a quick logical decision. He got out of the way of me. Unlike Jade he had experience and knew how to act, as well as that human intuition to avoid danger.
Final example was a good ole Billion pound plant. I was running from someone after possibly unintentionally pushing them off a swing and they were possibly chasing me. So a little idea of the set-up of what was about to happen. This backyard had three or four 1/2 barrels filled with soil and plants in the across the edge of lawn before the driveway. It was dark and they had 2 spotlights for the back yard. Problem was one of these barrels was not illuminated by this light because a truck blocked the light from getting to this particular area. I was unaware of this barrel concealed by darkness and while look behind me and frantically searching for a spot to put my soda down so as not to spill it I got OWNED! by this barrel. Full speed ran into it. I flew a good 5 or 6 feet onto paved driveway. My shin was cut up from the impact of the barrel. my right elbow and left wrist both got scraped up pretty bad (to later get infected) and my Sunkist became a cute little V-shaped piece of art. Needless to say this was not a fun experience. I learned two things from this. 1) Watch where I'm going and 2) Dont kick people of swings.
So through these three different experiences I've learned alot. We cant just expect people or animals to do certain things. I did not expect my cat run in front of me. You have to know the person to understand their actions. I knew Kyle wouldn't be stupid and jump in front me. I also learned to expect the unexpected. To be careful as to where your going and how vastly different three simple things can be.
A few posts to come at once. Schools been overwhelming (not really, I'm just a total post slacker) and Ive been super tired lately. Ill get back on schedule eventually.
Have a Good One!
Ok here is another completely different story ended basically the same way. I was at a party running again to grab a drink again. Ok maybe this story is sort of similar to the other one. My friend (his name is Kyle) was sitting on the ground eating dinner with some other kids. He was in my way and i yelled "lookout" as i leaped over him (why I'm galloping around and refuse to find easier methods of travel is beyond me). BUT unlike Jade, Kyle did not run to where i was about to land. Instead he ducked, threw his hands over his head and I'm pretty sure let out a little girly shriek (I cant say i blame him) But his initial reaction was smart. It was a quick logical decision. He got out of the way of me. Unlike Jade he had experience and knew how to act, as well as that human intuition to avoid danger.
Final example was a good ole Billion pound plant. I was running from someone after possibly unintentionally pushing them off a swing and they were possibly chasing me. So a little idea of the set-up of what was about to happen. This backyard had three or four 1/2 barrels filled with soil and plants in the across the edge of lawn before the driveway. It was dark and they had 2 spotlights for the back yard. Problem was one of these barrels was not illuminated by this light because a truck blocked the light from getting to this particular area. I was unaware of this barrel concealed by darkness and while look behind me and frantically searching for a spot to put my soda down so as not to spill it I got OWNED! by this barrel. Full speed ran into it. I flew a good 5 or 6 feet onto paved driveway. My shin was cut up from the impact of the barrel. my right elbow and left wrist both got scraped up pretty bad (to later get infected) and my Sunkist became a cute little V-shaped piece of art. Needless to say this was not a fun experience. I learned two things from this. 1) Watch where I'm going and 2) Dont kick people of swings.
So through these three different experiences I've learned alot. We cant just expect people or animals to do certain things. I did not expect my cat run in front of me. You have to know the person to understand their actions. I knew Kyle wouldn't be stupid and jump in front me. I also learned to expect the unexpected. To be careful as to where your going and how vastly different three simple things can be.
A few posts to come at once. Schools been overwhelming (not really, I'm just a total post slacker) and Ive been super tired lately. Ill get back on schedule eventually.
Have a Good One!
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