been awhile

so it's been awhile since I've been around but I got some stuff backed so expect lots in the near future

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Have You Ever?

Ever felt lonely in a group of people,
I have.
Ever wanna run away from everything,
I have.
Ever get lost in the middle of Manhattan,
I have.

What about you?

-Ben

Elevator of Life

Life sometimes like to knock at your door with a little rat-a-tat-tat just to make sure your still there, maybe it just trips you up or slams the door open in your face. Sometimes you make a small mistake, sometimes its big. But like a rollercoaster (or an elevator for that matter) life goes up and down and up and down. Very very few times in life does it drop from the top story out of control with no rhyme or reason. But sure enough that does happen. Thankfully roller coasters are designed to do that, unfortunately elevators just kill you, but we're not discussing life ending mistakes. Thats more like getting attacked by a falcon in flight. Just avoid it and don't kill yourself.

So elevators. Do you normally start on the Eleventh floor? Well, no, atleast in my experience no. I suppose if you helicoptered onto a roof you could essentially start on the Eleventh floor, but hey if you can afford a helicopter your probably not making too many mistakes. Anyways, normal people start on the bottom floor of life, some sadly start in the basement or underground garage, some don't even make it inside to get the elevator, so consider yourslef lucky to be in this journey we call the elevator of life. You slowly progress to the 2nd floor, then the 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on and so forth. Life has its troubles sometimes you drop from 5 to 3. sometimes back to 2, but usually the avoidance of the 1st floor is possible. Not always easy but managable. So as you go through life think about this. You started with nothing, you were a homeless, emotionless, very wet and disgusting baby. You were nurtured, you grew, and you got the elevator. So no matter how bad life gets, you can never do worse than being back where you started.

Ok so this was totally going in another direction, but I'm not quite sure what that was, so enjoy what is there for now!

More stuff to come, PLUS the exciting alternate (original, recently found, ending to "Decisions" I like the old one WAYYY better, with a few edits ofcourse)

So look around and leave comments, concerns, questions about my heritage. All taken and appreciated.

-Ben

Sunset

You can hear the waves crashing in the distance. The quiet and all of the sudden loud as it bounces of the rock hundreds off feet below. As dusk hits your just sitting there right on the edge with your legs dangling. The thoughts of the girl you love being sick and refusing to let you stay to take care of her roam through your head. The solemn bike ride to the top of the mountain was fueled with sadness of not having her with you and the emptiness and void that's just prevalently flowing and mocking you in the air. You ride by two squirrels chasing each other in the woods. While you sit on the edge, the clouds to chase each other to some unknown destination and the waves become intertwined and two become one. Loneliness overwhelms you and climbs into your every pore and every fiber of your being. Just when the right thing seems to be just to fall of the edge, you see it. The brilliant rays of color. The shimmering orange in the clouds The pentrating red like a dancing fire. The yellow still peaking through as the moon chases the sun away. The loneliness turns into joy to be alive and well. The sadness becomes hope and faith in things unknown. Just when the world seems perfect suddenly a stir comes about from the woods behind. Ready to flee you try to hide yourself in the open air to no avail. Suddenly, out of the brush she pops out. Having felt better and knowing where'd you be she came. She sits down on your right and snuggles into your arms. You feel a sense of perfection, the moment and the clarity of the world all right there. The sun sets and slowly the colors fade and darkness embraces you. But to you it doesn't matter, because you have her and to you, well she is nothing short of a beautiful sunset.

Six Flags

Low and behold I am still alive. I appreciate all the concerned emails though (cricket, cricket). So Last monday i went to six flags in Springfield Mass. Town of Agawam to be exact. Now with the exception of the Yankee Cannonball in Canobie Lake Park (a 50 mph wooden death structure they call a rollercoaster) I'd never ridden anything, well big or not wooden. So Six Flags has this thing called Bizarro, previously Superman. Its really stinkin' huge. Exact dimension's could find are a 221 foot drop and reaching a peak of about 77 mph, maybe a little more. The track is pretty long to. They really make the most of the speed.

So now imagine a goofy, tall and petrified of roller coasters seventeen year old boy because he was a wimp and never did them before and you got me. I'm in line quite literally paralyzed with fear trying to joke around but absolutely terrified. Even typing this I can remember that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that literally makes you wanna scream like a school girl and run away. But I manned up and did it. They strap you down so your hands are free. Yes, I said free to move around. even high five your ride buddy. So the ride starts. They begin with this epic battle scene of bizarro fighting superman or some demonized and twisted scenario the god-awful creators of this contraption think it is. Thankfully the ride didn't click, click, click all the way up and suddenly there's a hugh explosion and BOOM! your at the top of the coaster. Your overlooking every other ride, every person, at that exact moment you peak before your 200+ foot drop, you are the skyline. Then suddenly swoosh! you go down, but it doesn't just feel like down because of the craziness of the drop and before the wheels totally catch the track after the peak you are quite literally going more than 90 degrees downwards, or so you think. Then you go down..and down...and down..and just when your about to cry from the sheer g-forces ripping your skin from your body and detaching your brain from your skull and every pulse and breath takes hours not seconds and adrenaline pounds through your body I swear right there you can reach Nirvana. But, you do eventually reach the bottom to guess what? be catapulted up into a second jawdropping drop. The ride then throws you into massive curves, past a device that shoots flames up into your face (not literllay ofcourse) and then into a tunnel of steam just before slamming on the brakes and asking you to come back and do it again. It was the most amazing and exhilarting and terrifying experience of my life that I cannot wait to do again.

So then we went over to the Batman coaster which is much smaller in comparison but it goes upsidedown. And I was almost more nervous for this than Bizarro. So we get in line, go through, yadda yadda yadda. It actually kinda cool the seat is, except they always push your harness in just tight enough that its not comfy. So the conductor, button pushing guy or whatever he's called go BBAAWWOOOP! and off you go to climb again. Now I can only describe the first about 10 seconds of this ride cause its all I process in my brain. But you hit the peak and drop down to just a tough before fwoom you drop into a sweeping left hand bend and downwards into a massive loop. This was my first loop and gosh darn I LOVE GOING UPSIDEDOWN The rest of it is just spins and corskscrews and pure amazingness. . I enjoyed this ride sooooo much more than Bizarro and even went back on it again where I got the front row and had possibly the most fun ever in my life.

We hit up the Mind Eraser after the Batman though and that was just a demonized harness not designed for guys at all. It was pretty fun but not my favorite. All in all it was one of the funnest days in my life. I learned I love rollercoasters and love going upsidedown even more and can't wait to go back. I highly recommend for everyone to atleast try them before you judge them.

Have a Good One!
-Ben

Burdened With Nothing

I've reached this solid point where I just really don't care about what happens to me (mostly in school) anymore. My brain is telling me to keep going but I somehow hit override and screwed it up. There's a possibility my excessive amount television watching is a problem but no matter. It's not like I need a tv. I'd be better off with a summer. What I really need is a perfect summer. To relax, rejuvenate and just be with my friends, I don't need to nonsensical stresses that are related with school. So much bladity bloop about college and your future and what you do now affects your whole life. Bull crap! If I run into the kitchen downstairs and eat a kit kat bar my future will not be affected (other than having to brush my teeth again...maybe) It's just this piece of garbage idea that society thrusts upon us to do things. One of these in the seemingly mandatory life of a kid is to go to college or the crappy ol' war we have no point in fighting in. I'm not going to college, thats why i went to a trade school so I can work and enjoy life and not be pounded down under books and projects and essays of another 4 years of school I can barely stand now.

Have a good one people.
-Ben